Michael was a breath of fresh hair:\u00a0clean-cut, funny, and always smiling. We met at a \u201csingles party,\u201d continued our conversation the next weekend at a happy hour, and had coffee afterward.<\/p>\n
As we walked to our cars, I gave him a big kiss.<\/p>\n
Little did I know that this man would eventually become my husband\u00a0\u2014 and a gay husband at that.<\/p>\n
The following day, he arrived at my house to take my six-year-old son and I to lunch. And before we even left the house to go to lunch, my son was calling him \u201cDaddy.\u201d We laughed, and it seemed like an omen at the time.<\/p>\n
Our relationship escalated quickly, and within a few months, he put an engagement ring on my finger. We timed our wedding so that we had a year to get to know each other.<\/p>\n
Soon after I converted, I got a phone call from Michael, who sobbed uncontrollably. I didn\u2019t understand exactly what he said, but it sounded like he stopped by to visit a male friend when another male friend, someone he also knew, came to the door in pajamas.<\/p>\n
It seemed odd that my husband would feel so upset about that situation if he wasn\u2019t involved with one of them.<\/p>\n
It was the first time I thought that maybe my clean-cut fianc\u00e9 was gay, but Michael vehemently denied it. I planned to break our engagement off and go to Florida for a few days to pull myself together.<\/p>\n
It didn\u2019t take long for our relationship to return to normal. I continued planning the wedding, registering for gifts, and attending bridal showers. Wedding planning was\u00a0a constant flurry of excitement.<\/p>\n
We married at Michael\u2019s Temple on a gorgeous October day. As I walked down the aisle with 150 guests looking on, Michael mouthed, \u201cYou\u2019re beautiful.\u201d I\u00a0felt like a pretty lucky girl.<\/p>\n
Our marriage seemed normal\u2026 until it began to unravel. We started talking about adopting a baby and registered with the Jewish Welfare Services, but we had no idea how long we\u2019d have to wait.<\/p>\n
After a couple of years, I began to wonder if my husband was gay again.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know what my first clue was \u2014 his \u201csoft,\u201d manicured, impeccable appearance, his gay friends, his interests in fine jewelry and interior decorating, his culinary skills, or the twice-a-year sex, but something was definitely up.<\/p>\n
One evening,\u00a0I discovered a Cat-O-Nine Tails, a multi-tailed\u00a0whip\u00a0designed to lacerate the skin and\u00a0cause intense pain, hidden in our nightstand drawer. At the time, I wasn\u2019t 100 percent sure what it was, but I had an idea.<\/p>\n
One night, I heard him on the telephone making plans for someone to pick him up a couple of blocks from our house. The next morning, he gave me a run-down of his imaginary \u201cwalk\u201d around our neighborhood.<\/p>\n
While having lunch with a friend, I told her about the issues with Michael. She told me, \u201cIf you can\u2019t trust someone, you have nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
I filed for divorce, and after the papers were served, I called his mother and told her why. She cried. His parents never kept their promise to take care of me, and that was the last time we spoke.<\/p>\n
Within a couple days, I\u2019d arranged for a mover and found an apartment. On moving day, Michael let me take whatever I wanted\u00a0but then followed my car to see where we were moving.<\/p>\n
Once we were settled in the apartment, I asked my son if he\u00a0knew anyone who was gay. His response was, \u201cDad?\u201d I had no idea that he knew.<\/p>\n
As I was leaving my office for a dissolution hearing, Michael delivered me a dozen roses. I was angry with him, though, because I felt he wasted 7 years of my life. He couldn\u2019t use my son and I to pretend to be a straight family man anymore.<\/p>\n
It didn\u2019t matter to me if Michael knew where I was living or not. I had no contact with him until my (current) husband and I went to a mini class reunion.<\/p>\n
Michael nervously stopped by our table, but I was happy to see him. We spoke as though no time had passed. Our conversation was cathartic. He told me that he\u2019s openly gay now.<\/p>\n