I\u2019ve often been one of those creepy silent lurkers who click on those \u201cI had sex every day for a year!\u201d articles, like the original by the ever-fabulous Brittany Gibbons.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve read them and gawked at them, and basically thought all of those women were 1) attention-hungry 2) crazy, and 3) obviously more brave than I (hello, cramps, and a certain monthly visitor).<\/p>\n
When I decided to stop being a lurker and take on a challenge to have sex with husband for 30 days straight, I learned a lot more than I thought I would.<\/p>\n
1. I\u2019m totally insecure.<\/strong><\/p>\n Holy crap, do I have some major body issues.<\/p>\n Granted, my youngest child is only 9 months old and I\u2019m actually still breastfeeding, so maybe I have a little leeway in this department, but I was genuinely shocked by how uncomfortable I was in my own skin trying to get busy with him. Every. Single. Day.<\/p>\n I ran away, I hid my stomach, I protested, and I called myself fat \u2014 I did anything I could think of to actually not be naked.<\/p>\n It was a real eye-opener to me to realize just how distorted my own body image had become from having kids and to see the very real effect that had on our sex life.<\/p>\n 2. Exercising makes me feel sexy.<\/strong><\/p>\n With the realization that I need to feel comfortable with my body again, I got majorly into exercising last month and discovered that I love working out.<\/p>\n Taking the time to fit in a daily workout inspires me to eat better, take care of myself in other small ways, and it has the added bonus of giving me more energy.<\/p>\n All that in combination with some actual pounds lost equals a sexier me.<\/p>\n 3. It\u2019s so important to get in the mood before having sex.<\/strong><\/p>\n I admit that there were a few days when I just didn\u2019t feel like doing anything remotely intimate, but I thought, well, maybe I could just do it and get it over with.<\/p>\n Or, maybe once we get going, it will be great. Truthfully, it never worked for me.<\/p>\n I realized that the lead-up \u2014 flirting with my husband, talking, and just being intimate in other ways \u2014 is super important to me before any physical intimacy happens.<\/p>\n 4. Kids really do mess up your sex life.<\/strong><\/p>\n Say what you want about how parents shouldn\u2019t let kids cramp their style, that it\u2019s possible to have a great and healthy sex life with little people underfoot, and that moms are sexier than ever.<\/p>\n But the truth is, sometimes kids get sick, no one sleeps, the bed is overtaken, and you have no desire for anything but getting a little shut-eye.<\/p>\n No reason to beat yourself up about it. (Let this be the spoiler alert: we failed, OK?)<\/p>\n 5. Spontaneity can be fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n That being said, this little experiment also taught me that there is a lot of merit in breaking out of the rut and trying to find more opportunities for each other.<\/p>\n I wouldn\u2019t go so far as to say I\u2019m going to start sticking sex into my calendar, but I did learn that when you make sex a priority and have fun with it, only good things can happen.<\/p>\n \u2013 Chaunie Brusie<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n